When the world says NO, But God keeps telling you YES

With all this stuff going on in our world today, many lives being taken, many people losing jobs, a lot of dream chasers becoming discouraged, how do we bounce back from a world that keeps saying No. Every time we turn on our television, there is nothing positive, maybe a bit of humorous tv shows, or sports, but nothing to switch on the genius within our society. So, what do we do when the world says No, but God keeps telling us YES!  Follow God.  I have heard many times that my dreams can never manifest, that I was never good enough, diminishing my vision, but in my heart God kept telling me yes. I always had a deep belief in my talent and the vision I was given to fulfill on this earth, despite what was going on around me. The moment we as people begin to listen to that inner voice, the communication of the universal God, things become brighter, and your vision becomes clearer. Don't get me wrong, this is not an easy thing to do but when God says Yes, never say No.  We are all destined for greatness. We are all capable of reaching tremendous heights in life, but only those who "choose" to believe that truly succeed. I will leave you with this; In a world full of chaos and misery, there is still beauty, there is still peace, there is still joy, choose wisely with what you focus on. When the world says no, always choose God, YES!

Love & Guidance to all!

Advice to my younger self.

At the young age of twenty-seven, I sometimes think about the wisdom & learning abilities God has given me at this point in life.   If I could go back in time, what advice would I give my younger self, what beliefs would I instill into his being. The very first thing I would tell AJ Gray, a young ambitious athlete, filled with unconscious fear and doubt because of certain circumstances in his life, I would tell him that "pain" is only temporary, and to not become a victim to failure or defeat.  Secondly, one of the most important things but probably the hardest, is to, follow your dreams no matter what people say, or any negative feedback you may receive, anything is possible to him who believes. I remember growing up in my teenage years I was stuck in-between the fact of knowing my dream could come true on one side, and on the other, people telling me that it wasn't possible.  Make a decision to believe in the talent and vision God has given you, the rest will unfold!  Thirdly, the most important, is to let go and let God.  I was always the kid trying to control everything around me, trying so hard to make things happen, to make people deliver, focusing on everything outside of myself, pretty much adding stress to my situation.  I realized that many things were not in my control, I can only control myself, my thoughts, and my reaction to situations, there will be ups and downs, but how I choose to react defines MY outcome.  Therefore recently I have developed into a mindset of letting go and having FAITH that my God will deliver.  I write this specifically for anybody pursuing something in life, but may have doubts because of what people say, or what society portrays for us to be, discover your greatness, dig deep within yourself, reprogram your mind, and take a leap of faith, anything is possible!!

Stay Hungry

I am writing this because I feel somebody needs to hear the message, whoever you may be, Listen!! Do not stop until you become who you said you will become.  On the journey of a dream chaser many things can happen, there are pros and cons, polarities.  One day things will be very good, and others days things may be the complete opposite, life will knock you down.  The dream that you have you must keep your mind focused on that, despite what is going on around you, stay focused.  I have experienced loss of family members, nights where I didn't have a meal to eat, nights where I had no place to rest my head, but I kept my eyes on my vision, and believe me when I tell you God works miracles to provide whatever it is you need in that moment, ask and you shall receive, have faith!  I do not speak about the faults of chasing a dream because I do not want to discourage you, but life will knock you down, but you must stay hungry, try and stay positive, accept it, embrace it, it will come to pass.  I will leave you with this,  have a "why" factor that keeps you going, that gives you strength to proceed through the minor setbacks.  Anything is possible!!

Slingshot

I remember when I was a kid, I always used to collect rocks and fire them with my slingshot, most of the time not to cause any danger lol, just pure fun. Well, these rocks came in different shapes and sizes. When shooting I would test myself to see how far each rock would travel, or if I was able to hit a target that was at a distance. I noticed, the harder I pulled back my slingshot, the further the rock would fly.  Grasp this!! Life can sometimes be compared to the slingshot in many ways.  For instance, picture the slingshot itself as your life, and you are the rock, and that force or (arm) that is pulling you back is God.  Now, when life is getting difficult and you feel as if you are being pulled back in some sort of way, remember that the force that is pulling you back is doing this to teach us lessons, to gain a further understanding of your being, so that you can grow.  The sweetest thing about being pulled back is that, you are being set up to be thrown into something greater, a further point than where you last stood.  So do not resist the pulling back of life, work through it, let it be, you are the rock in the slingshot, trust your journey, because when it is time for you to fly, you will fly!

Disappointment into Drive!

Many times in life we go through certain setbacks and come up against the force of obstacles, sometimes our predicted outcome doesn't turn out the way we envisioned, at this point we are faced with disappointment.  Have you allowed this disappointment to slow you down? How has the disappointment effected your thought process and decision making? We have all been at this point in life, if we had to do somethings differently we probably would, but we are here now! I suggest turning your disappointments in drive.  Drive is the beginning of the end of disappointment.  Have  a reason as for why you can not quit, as to why you must continue to try, get up! Do not make minor setbacks hold you down and grow like a disease in the mind, release it, use the pain to push you to greatness. I have had numerous times on my journey where my back was against the wall, and things just did not go as planned, and I became lost, and yes allowed disappointment to overpower me at times, but the outcome was never positive, heck Im at that point now.  Today I will fight back, and push myself to overcome, the disappointment is never physical it is all mental.  You will lose, you will fail, you will fall to the ground, you will question your faith, but we have the option to step out the darkness and be the light!  Turn your disappointment into drive, God is good!

~AJ Gray

Inspire

I Spoke to my cousin briefly on facebook, and she told me to continue doing what I am doing, because I am inspiring people, her being included.  Interesting, because sometimes I write my blogs and continue on my mission wondering if anybody is even reading or absorbing what I am trying to do, or if I am changing at least one mind in a positive way.  So for her to mention this inspired me and she probably doesn't even know it, because at the time although I say things are well and fine, I am also going through things in life like any other person on this planet. She is a mother of three, taking care of her kids, and herself all in one day one motion, I respect that as a man!  So just because my mission in life is to inspire people through my journey, its people like my cousin who truly inspire me, those are the real heroes, I do what I do for the next generation of kids, all my cousins, my nephew, my God children, my siblings, they all have a future ahead of them, I want them to believe they can become whomever they desire, I want that young kid who wants to become a professional footballer to look at me and instantly believe he/she can achieve it.  We all have a past, and make mistakes in life, but do not let these minor burdens hold you down, change is a reality, change is difficult, but it is so beautiful. Change, grow, and succeed!!!!!!!!!  Thank you Tameica Neverson for the inspirations today, this post is for you! God Bless.

Speak it!

I think we as people should be more aware of what we speak, our words have power!  I like to speak more towards those who are chasing a dream or goal, those who are trying to better the circumstances of life, but this message is for all.  On a daily basis I hear and see many of my friends say "Fml (fu*k my life) or give a million and one reasons as to why they can not do something, or achieve something.  When we speak these diminishing words, it harms our inner being, therefore harming our outer universe, we begin to set ourselves up for failure before even trying.  Even if you as a person do not have the ability or credentials to achieve what you set out to achieve in life, all this can be practiced and obtained through consistent action, but we must begin to create the belief in our minds first, while setting out to complete the task. Therefore, instead of downplaying or saying you can't do something, begin to reassure yourself with positive affirmations on a daily basis, such as "I can" "I will" "I love myself" "I am..." and so on, I believe this will generate a feeling of gratitude and love within, and give you the power to take positive action.  Sometimes it is not what we are doing, but how we are doing it.  Ask yourself this, are you going after that vision with a positive attitude and mindset? If not, you are going after something that you yourself don't believe you can have, and if this is the case, how exactly do you expect to receive your blessing.  Speak life into your dreams and goals, speak life into your everyday activities, anything is possible, stay and speak positive! God bless.

Family.

Today I have been thinking about my goals, plans, and what I want to accomplish for myself and family one day.  Family to me is very important!  Family doesn't only include people from my immediate blood line, but also close friends that I have.  Throughout my journey in life I have seen many people come and go.  There have been people who have come into my life for a day bringing joy then pain in their absence, and others who have been in my life for many years, where the relationship has been inconsistent, up and down, love and hate, but the end result was always love, these people to me are family.  There have been many times while chasing this vision that I have been down and out, no idea of where to go, no clue of how I was going to manifest my next move or even meal, all I had was prayer & family.  That's why I want to give back to these people in some way for the help and guidance they have done for me in my lifetime, especially my parents & sisters, who have known me for the duration of my life, they have instilled certain teachings in me that have played a big part in the person I am today, and I am forever grateful.  Family is unity, family is loyal, family is not always clear, or positive, but family in the foundation of life, family is love.  We all have family, whether it be your immediate family, friends, or teammates.  My words of advice are to cherish these people, keep them close, but know your boundaries, continue to work and grow in order to help them grow, its a chain reaction.  Have a blessed week!! ;)

Recycling Pain

Have you ever wondered why certain things happen in this life we live, why we come across certain souls we connect with and keep, also souls we connect with and lose?  Have you ever wondered why things sometimes just do not turn out the way we expected or planned...?  Have you every wondered why we feel happiness and also pain..?
There are many different elements that make up our reality on this earth, many different emotions we experience time and time again, it is sort of like a cycle that we can not escape, but can adapt to.  To recycle something means to "convert waste into reusable material".  Therefore pain is something that we will feel at some points in life numerous times, but we have the control mentally to overcome that pain and turn it into something positive.  I have experienced many different things in life that have brought tremendous pain, and have broken me.  One day after prayer, I had an inner revelation that gave me the wisdom of turning pain into power, or recycling the waste of pain into something positive.  Do not let the pain of your day to day life determine your future, it will come to pass, use that hurt and transform it into positivity, positivity and love will alway conquer the illusion of pain.  Recycle, and overcome!

The Artist

   I view everything as an art, something that was created in the obsessive mind of an intelligent man or women.  If you really think about the world and society we live in, and the objects we use on a day to day basis, it was all created from a thought, which then turned into a plan, then manifested into its reality.  This is art!  

   Art usually brings creativity, which then brings adversity.  You see when we put our minds to achieve a particular outcome or goal, many things will block that vision or try and stray your mind away from what it is you want to achieve.  The reason for this is because majority of the time, as an artist, you are considered an outsider, you do not follow the crowd, your thoughts on life and the way things should be are often different from your peers.  This is when the negative side of the mind begins to talk you out of your art, tries to force you out of the amazing things we are capable of creating, but this negative and distracting voice can be tamed, it can be overpowered with positive affirmations and thoughts.  I have experienced this inner voice plenty of times on my journey, but the power of love, positivity, and prayer instantly diminish the negative. To conclude my thought; every one of us are creative artists in our own way, we all have the ability to be great, so continue to build your vision and dream, stand on it with strength and determination, no matter what obstacles come in the way, dare to be different, take a leap of faith and live your dreams! #Theartists #Godisgood #blckspyder #futbol #love

Passion & Pain.

Does pain come with passion....?

Passion is described as "strong and barely controllable emotion".  I am a person who always follows my passion, my heart, my instincts, and at times it has turned out great, and exactly how I anticipated, the other times very terrible, leading to horrifying pain.  When this pain arrives I do not know how to react, I will pretend and try to act as if everything is okay, because in my mind I am a positive person, think positive get positive, right?  But what happens when you do all that and the outcome is still not what you expected.....Throughout my life and football career I have experienced this pain with my passion, and it always comes at the worst time, but truly the best time, its a funny thing to explain.  I have suffered a few minor setbacks in my career right when I got the feeling everything was about to take off, right when I got the feeling that I was on the rise to finding my "zone" my element of dominance.  The lesson I have gained from this is that, these pains that come with my passion are there to humble me and remind me of my faith, and the power of God and the universe, it allows me to turn to prayer, to be more aware of the situation, to mentally and physically try to find a solution, it allows me to remember why I began this mission in life, and not to get caught up in the future or end result of what I want, to take one step at a time, the pain always brings clarity, I must let go.  But, the pain does not last forever. The pain comes, brings the lessons that we are suppose to learn, and then disappears.  The passion on the other hand still remains, always burning like a fire, the more gasoline you pour on it the brighter the flames, but if you do not watch it and nurture it, it fades away.  "When pursuing a passion accept the pain, learn from the pain, do not give it the power to out-shadow the passion, the pain will subside, keep the passion flames blazing." - AJ Gray

The Middle, The Mud.

I have't written a blog in awhile, so here it is.

I have been thinking about this journey of mine that I am travelling in life. After speaking with a good friend, and with a specific female I used to date, and share a deep soul connection with, the topic of our "visions" came up.  We spoke about what we saw for each other, and for ourselves individually, so both relationship goals, and personal goals, I noticed something very vague about the discussion, something that struck my mind instantly.  I noticed that, when I planted the ideas in my mind about what I wanted to accomplish in life, I was only shown a projection of what the beginning would look like & feel like, and also what I wanted the end result to look & feel like, then off of this vision I began trying to manifest my idea.  The funniest thing about my visions/goals, were that I never had an idea of what the middle would be like. I never knew what I had to go through and endure in order to get to where I wanted, this applied to my football journey and relationships, the beginning was always sweet, and my foreseen end was even sweeter, but that middle section is where the trials and tribulations came about, where the confusion came about, where the mistakes came about, where the pain/heartbreak came about, where the tears came about, but I realized the middle was the unseen blessing. Without the lessons learned in the middle of our journey, we wouldn't be where we are today.  God is good.  To conclude, my message is this;  No matter what you are going through in life,  remember that it will come to pass, we all experience both sides of an experience, the good & the bad, get through the middle and the sun will be shining on the other side.  God Bless!!

New!

For the past two years, my career has been up and down, trial after trial, excuse after excuse, lesson after lesson, failure after failure, flight after flight, the list goes on for miles.  I remember times being in a foreign country broke, with no money, no place to sleep, no food, lost and somehow a way was always provided. Last week I signed a contract with Fc Haka, one of the biggest football clubs in Finland, with an amazing history, a club of prestige and success, the club that agreed terms with me, and has given me a place to display my talents to the world, and be a part of their family.  The stress and doubts before signing the contract began to manifest, because the wait has been soooooooo long, the journey has been so blurred, with many unknown situations, many people promising opportunities they couldn't deliver, many false words, a lot of emptiness.  Prior to coming back to Finland, I was in England, and a friend of mines told me to "let go" of the situation, stop trying to control everything, that there was a bigger force than me, a greater power than you and I, that will bring forth the things I wished for when the time is right.  Now I am here, an Fc Haka player! When signing the contract, a weight off of my shoulders disappeared, the focus instantly changed, my visions got brighter, my goals seemed reachable, it's time, my time!  The funniest thing about this opportunity, is that it fits perfectly with my values and morals as a man, this club is everything I represent, and is the perfect place to go after these goals I have, both as an individual and with my team. I am forever grateful!!!!  I'll leave you with this; have faith in what you desire in life, despite your physical circumstance, everything will manifest in the correct time. God, the universe, is perfection, what you need, at the correct time will be provided in order to propel you forward, have faith/belief in your journey.  #Blackspyder #positivevibrations #FcHaka #Glory2God

Twenty7

Wow Wow Wow, haha it is an absolute joy to be here, at this age in life, time waits for no man lol. The past twenty four hours for me have been very good, amongst the company of great people, in a good head space, and in good spirits, my twenty seventh birthday has been very positive and relaxing. I had a long day to do some reflecting, whether it was going for a walk by the water, or in my hotel room working on some projects I have planned, watching football, listening to music, a few thoughts were constantly on my mind, maybe it comes with age :)  The thought that really stood out to me was the fact that so much has happened in my life, and the lessons I have learned, money, and love. I am at a point in my life where I am seeking a sense of stability in everything I do, from my football career to my relationships, down to even my thoughts.  If anything in my life at this point seems shaky or unsure, I do not want to be involved with it. I think its mainly because the past few years have been up and down, a lot of risk being taken, a lot of trials and tribulations, a lot of loss, it's time to win.  I am so blessed to make it to this age, my cousin Omari Chambers, who I refer to as my brother, was born on April 10th, 1988, two days before me. So every year since the day we were born we celebrated our birthdays together, but unfortunately he isn't here in the physical, he passed away three years ago.  For this very reason, around this time of year, I do a lot of reflecting and give nothing but thanks for being alive today, and doing what I love in life. I am forever grateful.  So twenty seven has been an eye opener, another blessing, beauty! Thank you all for the kind words and love you expressed on this day.  #blackspyder #27 #bigman #primetime

Long Weekend, Miles away.

Happy Easter, hope you had a wonderful weekend.

My Easter weekend was pretty quiet, and I got to experience the Finnish culture a bit, with certain foods they eat during this holiday, very different from my regular Bun and cheese, and fried fish Easter weekend lol.  I had a chance to experience a desert dish by the name of Mammi. It honestly doesn't look so appealing to the eye, but I can say it tastes better than it looks, very sweet, but bitter at the same time, served with cream. It's funny when experiencing something new, I always put up a barrier because it is not what I am used to, it is something I have never seen or experienced before, but at the end of the day, I always give it a try, that's just my personality, why not?  Once again during this year easter was spent online with my family who never fails to come through and link up someway somehow to celebrate the holiday, for us its a Skype call, or Facetime call.  Even though we are miles away the love and joy is still shared, it makes me appreciate family and true friends.  The hardest thing for me has been getting people I love to understand the magnitude of what I am trying to do, and the example I am trying to set for the generations to come, it's hard to get them to see past the distance, and see the greater picture, its about expanding the limitations to which we think. During this weekend I had time to reflect and think about what it is I want to achieve, and the message I want to vibrate around the world. That message is, to dream, to believe and have faith in what you desire, many different things will happen along the way, many things to distract you, one day things will be great, one day things will be not so great, but there is a flow to the universe that we must be conscious to, there is a common language that we all speak, things grow and die, things go up and come down, there is a flow, we are a part of that flow. So never stop pursuing your vision, it may not be what you want it to be now, but there will be a time to come when things are exactly the way you want them to be, anything is possible.  We were made in the image and likeness of God. Happy Easter to all!
#BlackSpyder #love

Risk Taker.

As a young boy growing up I have always been the outcast, the kid who always spoke about taking another option,  taking "risks", the rebel, all because of my once unknown faith. But, this mindset or thought didn't manifest until I decided to listen to my gut, and follow my heart of becoming a professional in Europe.  Many thought I was crazy for thinking this way, many people couldn't see outside of the society we lived in, couldn't see outside the teachings of their parents and friends growing up; sub conscious habits, many wouldn't dare to follow their own instincts, but rather be controlled be somebody else's, I always thought, what about faith? what about our imaginations we had as kids? why did that have to be taken away?  I once was scared to follow my heart, because sometimes what your heart is telling you to do is so ridiculous, so out of the ordinary, humiliating, and scary, but what f*** is fear?  Coming to Europe to pursue a soccer dream at the age of 24 was not ordinary, but when I seen the Jay Demerit movie, it gave me a bit of hope, and of-course God, the bible does say "ask and you shall receive, seek and you will find" why not take a risk and pursue what I so greatly asked for, is it really a risk, or is it reality.  To conclude my point, I am happy I have taken risks in pursuing a vision, a goal, a dream of mines and have the upmost respect and appreciation for those who have supported and helped me along the way, I am forever grateful. Hold on to your passion and love, despite what is going on in your current situation, have faith that it will come to pass, I am 100% sure if you do not give into fear, negativity, and doubt, you will succeed in all you do, do not be afraid to try, God is good!  What would I be doing right now if I didn't follow my heart..? A question I will never know the answer to!  #BlackSpyder #Love

That Feeling!!

That feeling.......  Every athlete should be able to relate to this feeling I experience everyday naturally, but today at training, the feeling actually ran through my body, everything became slow motion, everything became brighter and more magnified.  The feeling of lacing up your boots before going to do what you love, going onto the battlefield, that hunger to win and succeed, fighting for your teamates, coach, fans and club, but most important your family and loved ones, entertaining. That consciousness hit me extremely hard today; I am across the seas in Europe doing what I love, and pursuing a dream, with joy and love, its exciting, its unknown and scary at times, but I love everything about it.  To all athletes who currently play, or once played, always hold onto the feelings that you experienced in your sport, they have taught us more than we can imagine, and have taken us to places some people never go, hold tight. Until next time....#blackspyder #Godisgood

A run of Gratitude

 So I went to sleep lastnight with the idea in mind to go for a nice run this morning, just to activate my muscles and get the blood flowing, also to stretch out, and make use of the morning & my day off.  The run was amazing!!!! I had no clue where I was running to, got lost a few times, but just followed my instinct and a few trails. After about 25 minutes I was lead to beautiful scenery; a frozen lake, surrounded my multiple trees, its presence brought an instant feeling of peace, joy, and gratitude. I instantly released my mind of soccer and just thought about my journey and how grateful I am to be able to experience different cultures and countries in this world, and pretty much everything I presently had in that moment. My family and friends, a support system, my health and talents, a roof over my head,
food in my stomach, down to the very eyes, nose, and mouth I had to experience this work of nature. I realized at the moment how blessed we are as people, and as individuals. "Be grateful for all you have in life, because somewhere around the corner there is somebody who wished they have what you have" #blackspyder

Thursday 8:21pm

So this week of training is pretty much concluded and it has been very positive. Lately I have been feeling more a sense of peace and joy from within, letting go of situations and letting God, the universe do their natural work. Through my experiences over the past few years, days, hours, I have learned that everything has an opposite, with most good, there is also bad, but I have a choice to what I choose to focus on, I choose positive!! I am in control of myself, my being, who I am and the way I conduct my attitude, this mindset has helped my performance on the field over the past few days. How do you view your current situation, do you dwell in the negative side, or prosper in the positive? I recommend prospering in the positive!! #blackspyder

Latenight!

So being back in Finland has been pretty good so far, things are progressing in a positive manner, God is great! The other night i had the opportunity to watch the documentary on Kobe Bryant, called Muse. After watching that it brought me Back to the mentality I always possessed as a kid growing up, that raw inner beast that is hungry to succeed, to win, before I allowed the world and myself to put the beast to sleep. It has awaken !!

Kobe explained his love and passion for basketball and Always being an outsider due to his mindset and passion to better his craft everyday, his will and intent are extremely motivating, because I can relate. Through the lessons I have endured, coaches saying no, people Telling me I am not good enough, situations where I completely dominate and perform, and still few refused to sign me, I can not be stopped, its like pouring gas onto Burning flames. "I was not made to fit in, but rather stand out"

New Location, New Trial

So, now that I have changed locations, and found myself back in Finland where a great opportunity presented itself, I had to come here and show what i can do on field, and the man I am.  When it's time for me to move, and travel again a lot goes through my mind, things such as is this the break and team I have been waiting for that will give me an opportunity? Is this where God is bringing me to learn something in life? How am I going to manage being out of contract and with no stable source of income at the moment, how long can I last? Just to name a few.  I always end up sending my mind away in times of doubt and turn these questions into affirmations, I take the risk and go anyways, and somehow it usually works out in someway or another.  I guess this is the price I pay for going after a dream, a vision, they say sacrifices must be made in order to achieve your goals, I have experienced this over and over, and it does sometimes get overwhelming, and difficult, but I always continue to push through, all things are possible, I hope this is the break I am looking for, I believe I deserve it.  I like to keep these short and straight to the point, and share my thoughts, and whats on my mind.  I was once a kid who believed he could fly, it's time for me to test my wings.

My Why, My Reason, My Purpose.

Hope this finds you well,

As a young footballer growing up in Canada where football "soccer" is one of the most loved sports, but most difficult to break through because of the soccer culture in Canada, I write this post to bring you inside my mind.  I write this message as a means to connect with young footballers in Canada, and around the world who are finding it difficult to break through and fulfill the dream of becoming a professional athlete. I have a few questions that I asked myself when pursuing my vision and goals after the setbacks and heartache I suffered early on in my career. The first question was, what do I want to do with my talent and career? Secondly, where in the world do I want to play, and how can I get there?  These two questions for me were extremely important at the time, because I began to question my abilities and goals, because of minimal opportunities around me, and all the negative criticism about becoming a professional. This post is to let you know that your dream is a reality, that if you put your mind and heart to something it can be done.  Do not make someone else's reality of a situation your reality, stay firm to your dreams despite what is going on around you, and what your current circumstances may be, it shall come to pass.  ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!
Until next time...