Passion & Pain.

Does pain come with passion....?

Passion is described as "strong and barely controllable emotion".  I am a person who always follows my passion, my heart, my instincts, and at times it has turned out great, and exactly how I anticipated, the other times very terrible, leading to horrifying pain.  When this pain arrives I do not know how to react, I will pretend and try to act as if everything is okay, because in my mind I am a positive person, think positive get positive, right?  But what happens when you do all that and the outcome is still not what you expected.....Throughout my life and football career I have experienced this pain with my passion, and it always comes at the worst time, but truly the best time, its a funny thing to explain.  I have suffered a few minor setbacks in my career right when I got the feeling everything was about to take off, right when I got the feeling that I was on the rise to finding my "zone" my element of dominance.  The lesson I have gained from this is that, these pains that come with my passion are there to humble me and remind me of my faith, and the power of God and the universe, it allows me to turn to prayer, to be more aware of the situation, to mentally and physically try to find a solution, it allows me to remember why I began this mission in life, and not to get caught up in the future or end result of what I want, to take one step at a time, the pain always brings clarity, I must let go.  But, the pain does not last forever. The pain comes, brings the lessons that we are suppose to learn, and then disappears.  The passion on the other hand still remains, always burning like a fire, the more gasoline you pour on it the brighter the flames, but if you do not watch it and nurture it, it fades away.  "When pursuing a passion accept the pain, learn from the pain, do not give it the power to out-shadow the passion, the pain will subside, keep the passion flames blazing." - AJ Gray

The Middle, The Mud.

I have't written a blog in awhile, so here it is.

I have been thinking about this journey of mine that I am travelling in life. After speaking with a good friend, and with a specific female I used to date, and share a deep soul connection with, the topic of our "visions" came up.  We spoke about what we saw for each other, and for ourselves individually, so both relationship goals, and personal goals, I noticed something very vague about the discussion, something that struck my mind instantly.  I noticed that, when I planted the ideas in my mind about what I wanted to accomplish in life, I was only shown a projection of what the beginning would look like & feel like, and also what I wanted the end result to look & feel like, then off of this vision I began trying to manifest my idea.  The funniest thing about my visions/goals, were that I never had an idea of what the middle would be like. I never knew what I had to go through and endure in order to get to where I wanted, this applied to my football journey and relationships, the beginning was always sweet, and my foreseen end was even sweeter, but that middle section is where the trials and tribulations came about, where the confusion came about, where the mistakes came about, where the pain/heartbreak came about, where the tears came about, but I realized the middle was the unseen blessing. Without the lessons learned in the middle of our journey, we wouldn't be where we are today.  God is good.  To conclude, my message is this;  No matter what you are going through in life,  remember that it will come to pass, we all experience both sides of an experience, the good & the bad, get through the middle and the sun will be shining on the other side.  God Bless!!

New!

For the past two years, my career has been up and down, trial after trial, excuse after excuse, lesson after lesson, failure after failure, flight after flight, the list goes on for miles.  I remember times being in a foreign country broke, with no money, no place to sleep, no food, lost and somehow a way was always provided. Last week I signed a contract with Fc Haka, one of the biggest football clubs in Finland, with an amazing history, a club of prestige and success, the club that agreed terms with me, and has given me a place to display my talents to the world, and be a part of their family.  The stress and doubts before signing the contract began to manifest, because the wait has been soooooooo long, the journey has been so blurred, with many unknown situations, many people promising opportunities they couldn't deliver, many false words, a lot of emptiness.  Prior to coming back to Finland, I was in England, and a friend of mines told me to "let go" of the situation, stop trying to control everything, that there was a bigger force than me, a greater power than you and I, that will bring forth the things I wished for when the time is right.  Now I am here, an Fc Haka player! When signing the contract, a weight off of my shoulders disappeared, the focus instantly changed, my visions got brighter, my goals seemed reachable, it's time, my time!  The funniest thing about this opportunity, is that it fits perfectly with my values and morals as a man, this club is everything I represent, and is the perfect place to go after these goals I have, both as an individual and with my team. I am forever grateful!!!!  I'll leave you with this; have faith in what you desire in life, despite your physical circumstance, everything will manifest in the correct time. God, the universe, is perfection, what you need, at the correct time will be provided in order to propel you forward, have faith/belief in your journey.  #Blackspyder #positivevibrations #FcHaka #Glory2God

Twenty7

Wow Wow Wow, haha it is an absolute joy to be here, at this age in life, time waits for no man lol. The past twenty four hours for me have been very good, amongst the company of great people, in a good head space, and in good spirits, my twenty seventh birthday has been very positive and relaxing. I had a long day to do some reflecting, whether it was going for a walk by the water, or in my hotel room working on some projects I have planned, watching football, listening to music, a few thoughts were constantly on my mind, maybe it comes with age :)  The thought that really stood out to me was the fact that so much has happened in my life, and the lessons I have learned, money, and love. I am at a point in my life where I am seeking a sense of stability in everything I do, from my football career to my relationships, down to even my thoughts.  If anything in my life at this point seems shaky or unsure, I do not want to be involved with it. I think its mainly because the past few years have been up and down, a lot of risk being taken, a lot of trials and tribulations, a lot of loss, it's time to win.  I am so blessed to make it to this age, my cousin Omari Chambers, who I refer to as my brother, was born on April 10th, 1988, two days before me. So every year since the day we were born we celebrated our birthdays together, but unfortunately he isn't here in the physical, he passed away three years ago.  For this very reason, around this time of year, I do a lot of reflecting and give nothing but thanks for being alive today, and doing what I love in life. I am forever grateful.  So twenty seven has been an eye opener, another blessing, beauty! Thank you all for the kind words and love you expressed on this day.  #blackspyder #27 #bigman #primetime

Long Weekend, Miles away.

Happy Easter, hope you had a wonderful weekend.

My Easter weekend was pretty quiet, and I got to experience the Finnish culture a bit, with certain foods they eat during this holiday, very different from my regular Bun and cheese, and fried fish Easter weekend lol.  I had a chance to experience a desert dish by the name of Mammi. It honestly doesn't look so appealing to the eye, but I can say it tastes better than it looks, very sweet, but bitter at the same time, served with cream. It's funny when experiencing something new, I always put up a barrier because it is not what I am used to, it is something I have never seen or experienced before, but at the end of the day, I always give it a try, that's just my personality, why not?  Once again during this year easter was spent online with my family who never fails to come through and link up someway somehow to celebrate the holiday, for us its a Skype call, or Facetime call.  Even though we are miles away the love and joy is still shared, it makes me appreciate family and true friends.  The hardest thing for me has been getting people I love to understand the magnitude of what I am trying to do, and the example I am trying to set for the generations to come, it's hard to get them to see past the distance, and see the greater picture, its about expanding the limitations to which we think. During this weekend I had time to reflect and think about what it is I want to achieve, and the message I want to vibrate around the world. That message is, to dream, to believe and have faith in what you desire, many different things will happen along the way, many things to distract you, one day things will be great, one day things will be not so great, but there is a flow to the universe that we must be conscious to, there is a common language that we all speak, things grow and die, things go up and come down, there is a flow, we are a part of that flow. So never stop pursuing your vision, it may not be what you want it to be now, but there will be a time to come when things are exactly the way you want them to be, anything is possible.  We were made in the image and likeness of God. Happy Easter to all!
#BlackSpyder #love

Risk Taker.

As a young boy growing up I have always been the outcast, the kid who always spoke about taking another option,  taking "risks", the rebel, all because of my once unknown faith. But, this mindset or thought didn't manifest until I decided to listen to my gut, and follow my heart of becoming a professional in Europe.  Many thought I was crazy for thinking this way, many people couldn't see outside of the society we lived in, couldn't see outside the teachings of their parents and friends growing up; sub conscious habits, many wouldn't dare to follow their own instincts, but rather be controlled be somebody else's, I always thought, what about faith? what about our imaginations we had as kids? why did that have to be taken away?  I once was scared to follow my heart, because sometimes what your heart is telling you to do is so ridiculous, so out of the ordinary, humiliating, and scary, but what f*** is fear?  Coming to Europe to pursue a soccer dream at the age of 24 was not ordinary, but when I seen the Jay Demerit movie, it gave me a bit of hope, and of-course God, the bible does say "ask and you shall receive, seek and you will find" why not take a risk and pursue what I so greatly asked for, is it really a risk, or is it reality.  To conclude my point, I am happy I have taken risks in pursuing a vision, a goal, a dream of mines and have the upmost respect and appreciation for those who have supported and helped me along the way, I am forever grateful. Hold on to your passion and love, despite what is going on in your current situation, have faith that it will come to pass, I am 100% sure if you do not give into fear, negativity, and doubt, you will succeed in all you do, do not be afraid to try, God is good!  What would I be doing right now if I didn't follow my heart..? A question I will never know the answer to!  #BlackSpyder #Love

That Feeling!!

That feeling.......  Every athlete should be able to relate to this feeling I experience everyday naturally, but today at training, the feeling actually ran through my body, everything became slow motion, everything became brighter and more magnified.  The feeling of lacing up your boots before going to do what you love, going onto the battlefield, that hunger to win and succeed, fighting for your teamates, coach, fans and club, but most important your family and loved ones, entertaining. That consciousness hit me extremely hard today; I am across the seas in Europe doing what I love, and pursuing a dream, with joy and love, its exciting, its unknown and scary at times, but I love everything about it.  To all athletes who currently play, or once played, always hold onto the feelings that you experienced in your sport, they have taught us more than we can imagine, and have taken us to places some people never go, hold tight. Until next time....#blackspyder #Godisgood